Ironman Florida was more than a race. It was the culmination of many of my athletic goals all because of one thing…relationships. My trip to Ironman Florida really started in 2012 when I first joined Tri Coach Georgia with Harvey Gayer as my coach. What a journey it has been! In late 2012 I didn’t even know what I wanted to accomplish as an athlete, but I liked the approach to training and the goals Harvey envisioned. Today I would say I have been surprised at the goals I have committed to and reached. All due to the relationships built over the last nine years.

As I look back at my training peaks from 2012 I see our first big change together. I started running six days a week! In 2012 I was random in my training, injury prone, overweight and at best a middle of the pack finisher. By the time my first race came in 2013, Ironman 70.3 New Orleans, I had my first top 10 finish at an Ironman event and collected a roll-down slot for the Ironman 70.3 World Championships in Las Vegas. Over the last nine years I have steadily improved on the 70.3 stage now being able to reach the podium and qualify for the worlds routinely. On the Ironman stage, after my first completion in 2015, I have been able to accumulate several top 10 finishes and even a sub 10 hour Ironman. But the goals of one day reaching the Ironman podium and qualifying for the Ironman World Championships (a coveted Kona qualification) increasingly seemed out of reach.

The progression was anything but steady with bumps and bruises along the way. So it would make sense that this year had both highs and lows. After starting the year out with a 3^rd place at Gulf Coast 70.3 the year seemed to be on track and I was eyeing returning back to Ironman racing at Ironman Florida in November. But then Ironman allocated additional Kona slots at several races and I decided to jump into Ironman Lake Placid with only eight weeks of training available (including taper).

Ironman Lake Placid was a tough call personally since my partner Dana had just finished Chattanooga 70.3 and she was preparing to make the significant empty nester move as her oldest son graduated college and youngest son went to college. She jumped in and committed to being my Sherpa but still needed to make sure she had her entire move organized before we left for New York. What a commitment she made.

Although so much was lining up for a great Lake Placid half-way through the bike I hit a wall. The second 56 miles was horrible, and it felt like my entire body and mind had shut down. Dana talked me into trying to reset on the run and so I committed to do the first lap. At the end of 12 miles, I made the hard decision to stop. I DNF’d for the first time in five Ironman races.

As I processed my next race, I had to start asking the question, what happens the next time things get really bad? I quickly resolved to train again. That was easy and just part of everyday life for me. The harder part was that other people had invested in me as well. There was Dana, Harvey, work, and of course time away from my kids. The fact is not only do I invest in my goals, but others do as well. If I was going to race again, I needed to acknowledge and appreciate the investments being made from my relationships.

On my way to Ironman Florida I had decision points and tests along the way. The first was my “test” race at Ironman 70.3 Memphis. Harvey had agreed to drive up to Memphis and Sherpa for me at Memphis allowing us time to create a strategy and get my head on straight. Harvey would say it took the whole drive for me to commit to a pretty simple strategy: get the right nutrition (@here4slayrx) on the bike, pace my power on the bike, be ready to run on the hilly course and have the right attitude. Although most of this was simple getting my head right was the issue. I still had lingering issues with my DNF from Lake Placid, but that is what spending the weekend with your coach and your team will do for you.

It turns out that Memphis was a big TriCoachGeorgia team weekend. Whether it was crashing Missy and Tommy Hatchett’s date night dinner, eating the pre-race dinner with Andrew and Doug, that were tackling their first Ironman (they crushed Ironman Arizona and left me with some wisdom), talking to Missy about anxious feelings before the swim (it’s good to have trained therapists on the team ☺), cheering for the team to finish including the Iron Family that were finishing there 51^st 70.3 of the year and of course wishing Amanie a happy birthday as her entourage came to Memphis to celebrate with her! When you think about relationships in triathlon you must think about the tribe you choose to be with. I have a winning tribe!

I had a great Memphis, enjoying the entire race, smiling the whole way around. And for the first time I was able to reverse my results to have a faster age group placing in the run (2^nd) than my bike. Even with a horrible swim I was able to move up to a 3^rd place age group finish and qualified for the Ironman 70.3 World Championships in 2022. What worked? My nutrition was topped off completely on the bike and I paced the bike at a notch below my usual 70.3 power. And as crazy as this sounds, I put some fun into the race. For me that is “hunting” on the bike (serious but not burning matches) and interacting with my fellow teammates, athletes and spectators on the run. However good the result of the race was, it exposed my biggest weakness…the swim. Despite good swim training I was struggling in races.

During the final training block before Florida, I was able to recover from Memphis and extend my long run and rides out to a comfortable distance. I ramped up my swim training a lot and without realizing it, all the windy training days on the bike would pay off. My friend Michael Stainback and I were kidding that “at least if it’s windy at Florida we will be ready!” Riding in the wind is not just harder, it adds an element of risk and creates stiffness in the body. I arrived at taper avoiding injuries and pulled out a strong Functional Power Test in the last week increasing my power from Lake Placid. Everything seemed like it was in a good place to race with a good span of training over the summer (even if I lacked a lot of volume in the last month), good tests and injury free.

We arrived in Panama City on Thursday. I checked in, went for a run and then got some good seafood with my girlfriend/Sherpa Dana. Dana and I went for a swim Friday (realized there were jelly fish!) and welcomed our close friends Tom and Denise who flew “Baron” their plane through 20+ mph winds and rain to join us! We had an incredible dinner of Chicken Piccata from Dana’s family recipe. What do you notice about these two days? Quiet and no risk. No practice bike and a home cooked meal instead of risking restaurants more suitable for spring break than a pre-race meal.

Race day arrived with a wake-up alarm at 4:00. It was dark, cold, and windy as we walked to the pier. As I settled into the start, all the familiar rituals provided a calmness in me. The national anthem, the cannon as the pros started, the cheers as the challenged athletes start their heroic journeys. My hands came together many times as we slowly moved through the coral and the mood changed from tranquil to one of anticipation, but never anxiety.

Well, that lasted for about 10 minutes as we swam out to the first turn buoy in near perfect conditions. As I turned the first turn buoy everything changed. The waves rose-up in confusion and the swimmers started to struggle as we headed to the second buoy and then back to shore. It was chaos. And somehow it got worse for the 2^nd lap. My swim took 1 hour and 45 minutes a full 35 minutes slower than Lake Placid! And getting on the bike I was in 52^nd place!!!

If there was one thing I learned at Memphis, no matter how you leave the water, you have to get your head in the right place and enjoy the ride. As I got on my bike my Sherpa, Dana, commented that I looked happy. And I was! Which is surprising because I was cold and knew that the winds would create a hard race for at least the first 70 miles.

I had committed to keep my power down to about 72-74% of my Functional Power. I maintained that power, burning few matches and felt as strong at the end of the bike as I did at the beginning. I felt better getting off the bike than any Ironman before and I knew it.

Ironically, after all the windy training days I rode into transition with Michael which made me feel good about my ride. Then Dana said I was in 5^th place overall and my first podium was within reach!

When I started running, I felt good, but a little choppy and I had to pee real bad. I felt less fatigued and more hydrated than in any other Ironman run I had done. I also knew I had Dana, Tom, and Denise on the beginning of each lap and Harvey and Julie on the back side. They would not only inspire me but also let me know how I was doing.

As I ran past Dana out of transition, I was in 5^th place. By the time I reached Harvey I had already been passed virtually maybe even physically on the course. I couldn’t let that bother me and knew I just needed to keep doing the pace I could do. As the first lap ended I got my special needs and started getting my bladder under control.

At mile 16 two things happened, I took an Advil and I passed my coach and his wife Julie on the course. It was inspiring to see Julie as she cheered for me, but Harvey had his own kind of inspiration. He told me, quite frankly, what I needed to do. I didn’t know if I could do it.

My pace was my pace and the 5^th place guy just kept gaining time on me. So I resolved that I was just going to keep my current pace, not stop in aid stations anymore, and hope my wheels didn’t fall off at mile 20. At mile 18 I said, all I have to do is get to mile 20. At mile 20, I said every mile I run is better than I expected. At mile 20.5, I saw Harvey again and he told me I was back in 5^th, but of course I should run faster ☺ So then I started clicking off the miles until I reached 23. I engaged more than ever with the supporters, my teammates…anyone. Mile 21, 22, 23! At mile 23 you are about 5K away. Anyone can run a 5k, right? And run I did, I let everything I had go , I talked to everyone I could find and I dropped about a minute a mile off my average pace.

As I ran into the finishing chute the adrenaline was still pumping (is that possible after 140.6 miles) and I actually missed seeing Dana, Tom and Denise at the finish line! But that was short lived as Tom took this picture when after 11 hours we re-connected.

Before the race, during the race and certainly after the race I realized everyone one of my goals of finishing an Ironman, being on the podium of an Ironman and qualifying for KONA were all because of relationships.

So what did I learn from this day?

• Never quit. Don’t quit after a DNF, don’t quit after a horrible swim and don’t quit before mile 20. This just means getting your head in the right place and then keeping it focused. Do Your Job!
• Harvey and I had a solid race plan including holding correct power on the bike, keeping hydrated and properly fueled. Everything that happens in the swim or the bike is simply setting you up for the run.
• Relationships! As you read through this race report although Ironman is an individual sport the athlete does not accomplish it alone.

To me Ironman Florida will always be the race where I accomplished all my goals, smiled the whole day (after the swim ☺) and built on relationships to do something I couldn’t have done alone.

So where now? Other than getting trained up for the original and hardest Ironman, Kona, I am also thinking I might tackle a stand-alone marathon. Even after completing five Ironman marathons, I have actually never raced a marathon. Maybe there is another goal after Kona.

My Challenge

Being a parent is one of the toughest things I have done. Coaching is similar. You want the best for your kids but sometimes what’s best is what hurts a bit.

My Boy’s Challenge

I have a just turned gangly tall and upstanding just turned 13 year old and he’s looking at a tough time to make the middle school basketball team. We have been doing some prep work for him to give his best shot at tryouts, but, unbeknownst to him, I am trying to help prepare him to potentially cope with the frustration that will occur if he doesn’t make the team.

His school is pretty stacked so height and endurance alone won’t get him a spot on the squad. For this team, you have to be able to play in constant motion, play inside or out, handle the ball, etc. You need a diverse skill set which comes from a combination of specialization, ability, and hard work. That’s a tough mix for a kid who has spent more time playing minecraft, running and swimming then balling. The point I am trying to make here is that we hate to see folks we love suffer, especially our kids and also, in my case, my athletes. However, it is necessary in life to become the best versions of ourselves that we strive to be.

Failure Has Positive Impact

Failure can be good in many ways for us but it has to be welcomed as part of the learning process. It can’t be seen as a destination but as a stop along the way. Seeing some of our athletes going through a rough race or a DNF can be difficult so I wanted to remind you all as a psychologist, an athlete and a coach, that messing up is a good thing in many ways. Here are some of the ways I wanted to mention:

5 Reasons Why Failing is an Important Part of Growing Up and Becoming a Better Athlete

1. You learn way more from failure or a bad race than a good race. My worst experiences in endurance sports were going into Ironman (IM) Coeur D’Alene in 2011 and IM MD 2014 wanting to Kona Qualify and Podium the race. Both events crushed my dreams. By T2 at IM CDA, David Eckles, my Sherpa for the race, will tell you that my goose was cooked. I was walking by the mile 1 marker on the run. 25.2 to go and I am already toast. IM MD 2014 was the same by mile 2 and I was even more fit and ready for the day. But, alas, it wasn’t all for nought. IM MD 2015 was where I slowed the bike down, ran well, and got my much coveted Kona slot. I took way more lessons from those tough two races than I did the prior races to them where I did well and raised my expectations to unfortunate levels leading me to become complacent and softer mentally.
2. You can’t avoid failing if you’re trying for something worth something. Accept it. It’s just “part of the process”. If it’s worth something, it’s going to be hard. And if its hard, its worth more than those easy deals. I am so impressed by my mature women set. Then there is Taylor Lewis aka HFT who is going for a 100 mile run knowing full well she may fail. She is ok with this as you should be facing whatever challenge you want to overcome. Be proud that you are out there taking risks, and not being a baby. It just might pay off in spades. If it doesn’t happen, that’s to be expected even when you cover all bases in your preparations.
3. PG Wodehouse in his Jeeves and Wooster books wrote that suffering or failure builds character. I think as “character” builds, you get closer to goal attainment. Your mental fortitude growing is key as you need that for the “bigger” days. Me getting beat down in Idaho and Maryland, made me stronger for Maryland a second time. I knew I could fail, and I knew I could handle adversity, but I didn’t want to. Again, each experience helps you along the way, which leads me to #4.
4. Failure leads to improvements. This reminds me of Lorand Batten aka 5 at IM Cozumel and Courtney Connolly aka Wicked at IM MD 2018. They didn’t fail. They struggled for sure. This made them double down their commitment and forced them to review every place they could find time. There are central areas of improvement and peripheral areas. I call these the margins and we have focused on the main areas and the margins for this year and the future!
5. You will appreciate the good days so much more if you have bad days. Thus, failure leads to a much more satisfying experience than someone coming in and having those results without the agony. When I thought I was out of the KQ game and gave up my hopes, it made it so much sweeter when it happened.

Conclusions

So there you have it. You may feel down and out. You aren’t down and out. You may be on the cusp of bigger things like achieving your goals. You may be worried, but that worry is ill placed. Anything that doesn’t go quite like you hope may just be part of the process. Thanks to each and everyone of you for considering taking and taking risks and making lemons out of lemonade. It will taste that much better if you do!

I thought this year would be the year for me to work up the age group placements at the half ironman distance. I set my schedule up for four maybe 5 of them. It all started in California in December of 2018. However, things changed for me there on the first one of those races.

The Ironman 70.3 at Indian Wells was a blessing, a realization, and a turning point for me. It’s always important to me to stay wide open to my life experiences and to listen to my heart and soul. I consistently try to work on being flexible with all things that come my way in life.  And Indian Wells and life had some curveballs for me that day last month.

Although I had a PR and had a lovely time out in Palm Springs, I realized the weeks surrounding the race and coming through that coveted finish line taught me many lessons. Most importantly, the race forced me to take a look at where I am, where I want to be and what my goals will be for 2019. I decided my original plan wasn’t right anymore. I figured it would be good to get that out there to show others they aren’t alone if they wanted to forego long course racing for a year or forever!

I’m putting Ironman on the shelf for now. Life for me now is all about striving for balance. I “do triathlon” for FUN and sometimes I lose sight of that.  However, that doesn’t mean I had to give up triathlon. It just meant a change was in order, and that change was not going to be things I valued. I love training, my team, my coach. So they are staying.  I love having challenges/goals. I found ones that are more in line with my current needs.

I am grateful for support systems and being healthy. But, life was getting out of whack.  I needed to rest, assess and act. After my recent experiences, long thought and great talks with my husband Tommy and my coach, I realized Ironman doesn’t define me and it absolutely OK to take a step back and still have a fun, successful and great year of triathlon (short course) and running races. My calendar includes olympic distance triathlons as the feature races, with a sprint distance triathlon here and there. And, for good measure, I am including my favorite and fun trail and road races. If something else pops up, I am open to it too!

Now, anxiety will dissipate, goals are set, working with Coach Slayer and training will continue and Family, Work, Grad School, etc will balance out. Most importantly, I will have fun and still be a part of this great team to support everyone and hopefully race together in some of these events.

I am psyched up about 2019! I am at ease with my decisions.  I will continue to listen to my soul and try to avoid Crossfit. That shit kills my body LOL. Anyhow, if you have a similar dilemma I hope you too will have courage to put Ironman on the shelf for as long as is needed. Thanks for reading and best wishes to y’all!